Tag Archives: desire

#318 ~ Psalm Series. No.22

The Blessed. The Set Apart. Somehow they never seem to crave

They never seem to desire arms wrapped around waists

They never envy the talents that drip effortlessly from those who have  perfection

as an intrinsic part of their genetic information.

And yet, they try to tell you they’re human – just as you are too.

Yet when you look down at your hands, stained in jealousy

the lines of your stomach, rolling with slothly, inertia and flaccidity

when you see your mouth twisted in spite

You groan in pain, looking afar at the Blessed and wonder

why have I done this again? Why can I not be steadfast in my ways –

and therein lies the problem

It isn’t about you, me, we

But Him

the great I AM

and all his righteous ways.

Psalm 119 vs 5 – Oh that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees!

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#300 ~ Psalm Series. 14

I imagined his mouth

I did. It was smooth

clean

In my mind it was sweet, I kissed it reverently

drinking in all that I was supposed to

when mouths collide.

But…amidst the saliva and the flesh

I found there was nothing…nothing precious

sacred or sanctified

It was just a silent orifice, there for a moment of pleasure

But it didn’t enrich or reward me

After all that, I had to  return to the far more mundane mouth

crowded with straggling hairs and a ready smile

a wry smile

a soft twitch of the lips

but it was lined with silver, gold and an infinite…

joy

Psalm 119 vs 72: The law of your mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces. 

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#288 ~ Psalm Series. 2

They tell me it’s – I will worship

For He is worthy to be praised.

Yet so often I say – I feel worship

Because I look at it as my day.

 

Psalm 119 vs 161: “Princes persecute me without cause, but my heart stands in awe of your words.”

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#279 ~ I Want Doesn’t Get

Like a greedy child still stretching for the bread crumbs on the table-cloth, whilst the mouth is smeared with honey and peanuts, the cheeks full like a chipmunk, we desire in the hearts of our minds for that which we shouldn’t get. We know on paper they aren’t good for us, all those E numbers, but still we crave, we desire. And desire is a powerful thing. It occupies the very space of our thoughts, it sits in the depths of our bellies, and in the heights of our throats where it spills out into the cavities of our mouths. Every vibration speaks of desire, every text holds the potential that it might be fulfilled.

Yet they tell me patience is a virtue. But this patient soul has been crying out for jealous affirmation. It desires to be known, to be handled warmly…whilst simultaneously its stubborn, proud heart stands resolute, aloof, waiting for the promise, that you promised me, to come to pass.

No longer half scattered notes, but a song with both rhyme and reason, and a steady, sturdy, deep filled harmony, laced beneath it like gentle fingers that will carry me…if I wait, patiently.

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#217 ~ Burn

The hottest flame has the coldest core.

To be consumed is to cease to exist

As the flame devours only its heart remains

all else is transmuted into its freezing hot flames.

Yet the fire spreads where the fuel is laid

to catch it one must be remade

to burn with a passion that subsumes self

to be tormented with a desire focused on no-one else

but a single audience.

Catch and burn like wildfire

Offer your self as the sacrifice for the internal altar

Catch the fire

Burn for His desire.

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#139 ~ Liminal Space

There’s being invisible, being a mirage, and then being yourself.

There’s desiring to be beautiful, trying to be beautiful, and then being yourself.

There’s contemplating being wanted, wanting to be wanted, and then being yourself.

There’s being confused, pretending not to be confused, and then being yourself, happy to be confused and not know the answer.

There’s wanting to escape to a liminal space where you exist in both worlds, but only just as a shadow, flitting between the flicker of eyelids, peeping over the premise, moulding into recesses

lost, scared, quiet, confused

wanting to be yourself, waiting to know yourself, knowing you know yourself, then figuring out how to portray yourself.

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#135 ~ Allurement

In trying not to be addicted to things, your tolerance for temptation seems to increase. You fast weekly to overcome the temptations of the flesh, yet the moment you can ‘break fast,’ it’s like the entire, starving body of mankind is inhabiting your stomach: you gorge, and gorge, and gorge. You give up social media websites for a day say, just to prove that it has no hold over your life. Yet, the rising numbers of notifications are like a drug, as they increase you cannot but help clicking, responding and smugly smiling at the ‘importance’ you feel bestowed upon your person.

You have some spare change sitting quietly in your pocket. But then a vending machine arises as though out of the ashes of Mount Doom, and it calls to you. In fact it is the E3 button, with the white letters saying 65p, that smile and dance as though they’re part of a pageant show. You scuttle across the linoleum floor ashamed, once, twice, three times allured to the instantaneous taste of chocolate and melting peanuts which stick in your teeth, coat your mouth, and dissolve into a liquid moment within a few chomps of your desirous maw.

Allured to the desires of this world, how does one overcome them?

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