Monthly Archives: February 2013

#366 ~ 2012 was a Leap Year!

Yes, it was a leap year. I didn’t forget that. But this is a final post in the 365 journey to help new comers navigate the blog.

Introduction: The opening and closing posts which give you an understanding of the reason for the blog and it’s journey are found in the About section, so click on there to begin and get stuck in.

Psalms: A series of meditative poetry posts based on Psalm 119, the longest of the Psalms. It takes a few verses from each ‘stanza’ and ruminates on what they mean or challenges them. An insight into my faith, or at least the ‘faith journey,’ that occurred towards the end of the blog. So click PsalmSeries, they are in reverse order, so the last post (which appears first) is from the first stanza….it makes sense, just read it as you see it, scroll down.

IthembaMini Blog of my time during the summer of 2012 working with the phenomenal charity Ithemba Projects in Durban, South Africa. It’s an incredible journey that looks at what it means to serve, to love, to loose, to create a family, and also confronts issues with poverty tourism and issues prevalent in South Africa. A succinct, uplifting journey, I taught as an English teacher in the community of Sweetwaters, so you can see some of the videos and poems we created. Enjoy and check out the charity as well.

Voice(less): These are a collection of articles, posts and poems about issues I am very passionate about. I am concerned with marginalised and dispossed groups/issues such as sex trafficking, rape, prosititution and conflict. These are a few posts that look at these issues. Often very raw, emotional and challenging, so be prepared for your heart to be ripped.

100 Words and a Photo: An incredible collection of 30 posts, each written at centenary periods in the Blog. They take the form of a photo by my sister and 100 words from me, some are short stories, other commentaries, but if you just want to read something short and creative, this is a beautiful series to get stuck into. Enjoy

Articles: These are all the posts I wrote as articles. Ranging from music reviews, to comments on the social upheaval in Nigeria, to Kony2012 and other more political or even comment pieces, perhaps an insight into a more ‘formal’ style of my writing.

Life Lessons: A collection of one line posts which give out life lessons. From down right stupid and humorous, to philosophical, if you are short on time, there’s some fruit to be snatched here.

Creative: All my poems and creative work. An insight into my heart, raw, bleeding, daydreaming, humorous, hey, I gave it all a go.

Be blessed, here in ends the journey, navigate your way, find that gold.

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#365 ~ Death of the Writer 365

I was 18 when I started this blog. I was sitting in a room, it was clothed in shadow, with a yellow desk lamp, the same one that illuminates my food stained keyboard now, glaring at the screen, as I Skyped my older brother. I was depressed. Not in a suicidal manner, but I had lost any spark that ever glared behind newly framed eyes. I was apathetic. And my chest was burning. It was burning because I had this scream that was locked up deep inside of me, and it was tearing the enamel off my teeth, scraping the bristles off my tongue, inflaming the sores I had chewed into the lining of my cheeks. It was my voice. Disabled, disused and highly confused, and it lay mangled and crying in the back of my throat, trying to make me scream to release it. But I had no constructive way of doing so.

So came the idea of this blog. Coming to the end, albeit a month late and not in the fashion I wanted – this is more like the salutary face-plant I ended my first-year of Uni with –  I have arrived in a heap of words, and thoughts, and comments, and life lessons, here, in the last post, on the last day of January. And I have grown.

It’s bizarre. This blog has seen me age three times. From 18 to 19 and now to 20. When I began this blog, I tried to be extremely covert and dissembling. I wrote critical pieces about the representation of ‘Africa’ in the media. I spoke about my broken heart for the dispossessed, for sex trafficked women. My pain at the industry that promotes prostitution. I began to voice the niggling sensations that clawed at my mind about identity and being a post-colonial being, a British Nigerian who is neither and both and somewhere in the middle. I talked about being tall, having big feet, being a gawky student, not able to get down in ‘da club.’ And then I began to write poetry?! Some of it was at 3am in the morning, raw with spelling mistakes and odd imagery. Some of it was down right contrite. A lot of it was self-indulgent and a poor man’s escape from reading the news and commenting in a socio-political manner. I began writing Life Lessons, the easiest way to get a quick post done. I travelled to South Africa and worked with Ithemba Projects. I came back and was unable to write. I then re-wrote Psalm 119  in a series of meditative posts. At each centenary mark I worked with my sister and produced 100 words and photo – and that was a beautiful experience.

I re-created my identity in this blog. I discovered, I destroyed and I forced out a voice on this webpage. I became a woman. And I came to the end of my 365 days writing. And it really was a process that killed the writer. It is the Death of the Writer… and the birth of a person who has re-learnt how to speak, and found a multitude of avenues to express her voice. And that voice is wholly polyphonic, just like the truth, just like my identity. It bursts out, it sings, it cries, it laughs, it writes, it speaks and it has learnt – most importantly – how to be silent.

So where do I go from here? Well, in the mix of this journey, I have begun to write for a wonderful women’s magazine called Magnify Musings -so check that out for more of my work.

Oh, and that poetry that just appeared? Well…check out the video below.

I wondered whether, amongst ‘the pile of shit’ that no doubt clutters this blog, if you, the reader, would ever find a piece of gold. I hope you have. If you haven’t… search harder.

So…How to end this journey?

I bow out, with grace. Born on a Thursday 20 years ago, I end this blog on a Thursday, and look forward to the many more years, strung together with words, that are yet to come.

Good night, God Bless, and a lot of love.

Thank you for walking with me.

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#364 ~ My Best Friend

It’s a difficult term. You apply it at a young age, and undoubtedly spite many people along the way. In one sense, every one has a multitude of best friends. They are the people who you have grown with, that you can ‘be yourself with’ what ever that quaint phrase means. They are people who lean forwards and snatch that mask off your face. They also begin conversations with you, without an introduction, and just trust that you’ll find your way through the grand scheme of things, and still have something of value to say before you slam dunk into the conclusion.

My best friend is stunning. My best friend is powerful and beautiful and intelligent. If I ever think I’m jealous, I look and I remember I just want the best, always. My best friend is my sister, my friend, my soul sister, my twin – you notice I lack specificities because the title is not set in stone. My best friend(s) knows who they are. I would not be where I am without them.

We tell ourselves we are alone in the world to make ourselves feel stronger. In my weakness, and my vulnerability I become stronger, and our friendship grows tighter.

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#363 ~ Life Lesson No. 43

As fragile as your dreams may be, as fearful as you are that they will never be seen, you have them, they are precious, now make them breathe.

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