I’m turning 20
I’ve had a lot of experiences, but none of them experiences
You know the one’s I mean. With a capital E placed in italics, they mean something deep, something intimate
You’re expected to have experienced the Experience – but i never have, had,
I didn’t sniff the talcum, I know they called it glue, but lets be honest, it was far stronger than they really knew
I never swigged the whisky or the ‘lemonade’ spiked through and through with vodka disguised as Powerade
I never brushed lips or had a passionate kiss
and I’m starting to feel dried up and withered about all this. It chews at my brain and spits the grey matter out regurgitating onto my face drawing everything out:
the pity, the tension, the confusion and the desire for a smooth intervention.
If i’m honest i have no regrets
Piaf was right i’m at peace with this experience that is under experienced
Yet…the insecurities still rear their heads and make me desperate with wonkey eyes to stare the plague in the face and contort my voice.