#167 ~ Novice

So, I recently did an extremely inspiring and much-needed post about the essentiality and ultimate beauty of Pre-Eating. It is an acquired skill-set that is recommended at the highest level of survival training. Today, I acted like a Pre-eating novice.

After having rowed hard, sweated hard, stomach-cramped hard, and finally made it home, I was fervently ushered into a shower to get washed, dressed, and made up for a Garden Party. Having been coerced into this function with the promise of food, I readied myself quickly before making my way over.

No –  Sainsbury’s Wensleydale Cheese (without the chutney mind), disintegrated portions of crackers, mini eggs, and salted peanuts is not a BBQ, it is not a meal, it is not food!

The disappointment was crushing; my blood vessels burst themselves violently, I was dejected in spirit.

But never fear, this is the one time when McDonald’s is accepted, embraced, exalted. With a student card one even attained a free cheeseburger. Going large, a food baby was ravenously conjured within my womb, the combination of large fries, sprite, cheese burger and Big Mac with generous dollops of BBQ sauce created the perfect placenta-come-amniotic sac-come-developing-foetus.

Yes: creating a food baby is hard but rewarding work.

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