Most of the time it’s adopted children we focus on. The concept that one can re-appropriate a child, bring them into a fold, a new fold, a family ‘unit’. I can’t really say I’ve experienced that. My parents pretty much wanted me – or at least realised I wasn’t going to leave them alone. I am both the bane and joy of their lives; it took me a while to accept that, but now i embrace it with great gusto. I am frequently told that I cause my mother stress and harass my father past the point of ‘banter’, yet I also bring them a lot of special me joy. Smiley strife i like to call it. So though I’m a twin, and the second one at that, I’d like to say I’m pretty much wanted.
Yet, the way in which I was raised meant the biological demarcation line was very faint. I have a range of siblings and never once in my up bringing did the concept of ‘half’ sibling enter our vocabulary. You can’t be half-blooded, family is family, end of – or as the American’s like to say – period. So, as having siblings was simply having siblings, so was having other mothers and fathers. Most of them were family friends that were called Aunty and Uncle for respect, but somehow assimilated themselves so well into our every expanding concept of family, they became mothers and fathers.
They shaped and raised us, and we in turn became their children. At times it meant that when you knew you were up for a disciplining you had the horrible sinking feeling that it wasn’t just going to happen once. The ‘biological’ ‘rents spoke to the adopted ones, and believe me – they all had something to say on the matter.
But just as I love being the daughter who brings smiley strife to my ‘natural’ parents, I also love being the daughter to adopted parents, to whom i also bring my special combination of smiley sunshine strife.
To the my many parents – you know when i irritate you – it’s my version of Me-Love