#60~ Daydreamer

It’s like hallucinating whilst your sober, stone-cold clean awake. The desires of your mind conjure an image, evoke a wish, a musing which transpires into an almost realtime authentic experience, sensation. You see your self in the coffee shop smiling, making quaint responses to conversations. You feel the bridge of your nose crack and taste the heat of the salty blood as it runs like wet paint over your face. Your rock gently to the beat of a soft groove, and your eyes flick across to the empty spot by the mirror, which in your mind is taken up by that mysterious figure whose identity changes depending on your fancy. The daydreams become so vivid, so overpowering, that as your eyes trace printed letters, your mind is reading the ticket stub for the imagined film you’re going to watch. Two parallel universes invade your line of sight, and it becomes hard to distinguish the feeble line of demarcation, or even where the initial spark of an idea came from.

It grows wings and before you know it soars. When you meet that situation once more in reality, you struggle to accurately remember what was imagined and what took place. Did we or did I?

We fall in love, hatred, get excited and nervous about a fictive experience. We bathe in the glory of a self-created victory, or cower in a self-inflicted nightmare. When the event that we’ve imagined, conjured, considered does finally appear, it seems to be in disguise. It’s less glamorous, painful, awkward, jaw-dropping. Your stomach doesn’t flip, your lungs don’t give out, your mouth doesn’t smile.

Yet sometimes you wonder. Did I bring this situation on myself? Is it a question of being careful what you wish for? In the regular daydreams, have you insinuated, implied or suggested something in the reality? Or is it, that when confronted with the truth, the hard facts that sit across from you sipping Ribena, or Cranberry, it is less desirable, more  mundane with a waning significance?

Struggling to live in the Now. So difficult, but the reward of clear sight appears so delectable.

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4 thoughts on “#60~ Daydreamer

  1. Boye says:

    Yesterday we set out to pick Buki up from a course she is taking and I had to shut our wonky misbehaving garage door. I shut it and as I put the car in drive to head out into the alley, it instead raced backward smacking hard into the just closed door and causing it to buckle and shudder.
    No one was hurt, the door however is damaged and beyond repair. I should be upset about the unplanned expense of a few thousand dollars. I am not happy about it but am far from upset. Why? Each day this week I have been in the presence of a man whose remaining life is measured in days, today he told me “I have lived 9, 9 extra days, what do I have to be sad about”. Nothing like being confronted with mortality to help with perspective.
    Be well and live in the moment my sis!

  2. Kéhindè says:

    Thank you so much. It’s true, in learning to savour the moment you create the time to live the dream. I hope all is well and the expenses won’t be too detrimental. Please MOT the car, i know it’s not compulsory, but just to ensure it’s in ship-shape condition xx

  3. T says:

    love love love family :)
    live in the moment, seize the day, praise God.

  4. adeboye says:

    All is well and our trusty jalopy rattles on.

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